I’m here. College.
I am at college. We have started classes and I am a disorganized mess.
How do I get organized? I ask myself and then I go back to sleep because I am consistently tired and exhausted and not sure why I am here considering I am WAYYYY out of my depth and everything is so busy and bustling and I don’t know what I need to do.
I literally had three days of classes this week and am already freaking myself out.
I am auditioning (literally currently I am waiting to go in) for an improv comedy troupe because it is important to put yourself out there and be confident and yada yada yada I have no friends but would love to have some!
I need to find a way to be social! and active! and smile more! but all I can focus on right now is making sure I have all my books for my classes and that my room isn’t too messy because that would inconvenience my roommate. Oh and making sure that I eat well?? like I have to control what I eat and that’s hard. I also have to read so many books like how could I have to read SO MANY BOOKS. BUT I DO>
ALSO MY FLOSS IS UNDER MY MINI FRIDGE! I CAN’T GET IT OUT! I NEED TO FLOSS!!!!
I’m not yelling because apparently at college everyone is quiet and if that isn’t annoying enough I can’t even tell if the ‘friends’ I have made like me at all like wtf, stop pretending. but also what did i do to you?? LOVE ME?? honestly I just don’t get it.
Also nobody has got the gossip and that’s all I’m looking for.
Aka gimme gimme the GOSSIP.
I’m freaking out.
In less than a week, I leave for a whole month.
I will be gone for my dad’s birthday, my birthday, my cousin’s birthday.
I will be gone for the fourth of july.
I will be gone for so long, and I’m scared.
What if something bad happens to my family?
What if I hate everyone there??
That’s basically it.
I’m not packed at all and my room and closet are a mess also just so we are clear.
I also have no clue where my tennis shoes are which is concerning??
I am missing my favorite bra and have very few pairs of underwear and only one swimsuit but yea it’s whatever I am going to freak out now and calm down later hopefully.
On my phone.
So is everyone in this generation. But I’m criminally aware of this codependence right now.
You want to know why?
I broke it.
The screen is falling off. The back metal whatever part is bent. Like a bend is in the metal. AND to top it off the home button and finger recognition hasn’t worked for ever. Oh plus, the cherry on top…*cue drumroll*
THE BOTTOM HALF OF THE TOUCH SCREEN DOES NOT WORK.
The live studio audience is laughing but I am in despair.
I can’t do anything.
My life is on my phone, my friends, my contacts, my pictures, and now its just BROKEN.
Plus like you know I don’t got the money to replace it.
I have $0.59 in my bank account.
That’s it. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO.
I’m so stressed right now. I feel lost and confused and yea maybe this is better for me but also I don’t want to be bored all day in school tomorrow and confused and upset.
This is life I guess. Bad and cruel.
I understand I am overreacting, but please, just drop your phone and dunk it in some water and slam it in a car door and tell me how you’re feeling.